dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
