areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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