Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
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Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
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He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.