Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job