I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
My vagina is officially offended.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life