I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
