That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
