We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize