"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I will pee on everything he values.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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