I just cut my nipple shaving
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
