got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
