Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
