i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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