we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
