So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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