Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
