I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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