currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
