I cockslap morals
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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