Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
