You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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