Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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