She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
