Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
