i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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