3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
