awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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