and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
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A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
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Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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