too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
