I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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