dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize