It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
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