But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Randomize
