He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
