the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
