I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
