You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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