His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
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I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
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He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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