Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize