I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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