I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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