none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
my phone needs a breathalizer
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
