can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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