You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
