I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
