everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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