Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
