Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
