Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
