drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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