why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I have surprise drugs for everyone
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
