i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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