new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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