Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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