I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
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I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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