bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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