Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
