Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize