We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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