if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
