We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
