she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
