You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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