Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
