Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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