Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I am spending my child support on dildos
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
