with your own penis?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Let the clothes fall where they may.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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