Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
A+ Viking dick
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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